1. Where are we spending our anniversary?
a) St Lucia
b) An isolated country house hotel with a roaring fire, champagne and an enormous bed
2. What have I bought my wife for our anniversary?
b) A lot of rope and a blindfold
c) Nothing. Yet. Oh %&$*
3. “Twenty years of bliss with never a cross word.” This is
a) Obviously true
b) A Lie
c) A phrase used by someone who needs to increase his medication
4. I was 11st 7lbs the first time I got married and 12st 7lbs the second time. What wife should I now be on?
a) Still the second, obviously.
b) Er… (said very hesitantly) the 4th?
c) Clearly you shouldn’t be ‘on’ any wife. Get yourself to the gym
5. How do our teenage children feel about this momentous occasion?
a) Delighted. They have spontaneously tidied their bedrooms to celebrate
c) Fine – so long as we leave the car keys behind when we go out
If you’ve answered:
Mostly A’s – congratulations on your engagement
Mostly B’s – ah, how lovely. The early years of marriage. Reality tempered with optimism and trashy novels…
Mostly C’s – welcome to the club, mate
Don’t forget – hint – that you can vote for Best Dad in the MAD Blog Awards Finals. Best Writer and Best New Blog. Thank you. Now where’s that rope…